Being alive. Logistics of living continue to take a huge toll whenever I need to travel long distances.
Taking the metro in Paris to CDG was uncomfortable/sweaty/hectic. The traincars were so crammed. One of the trains stopped and asked us to please not smoke during the delay.
Flying was ok. I appreciated the on flight meals. I also brought a ton of boiled eggs with me.
I didn't feel horrible for losing a lot of money on missing my connection in LAX…
I went on multi-hour bike rides to different castles, then had to bike home
Château de Brissac
Château de Brézé
learned about falun (marine Cenozoic deposits) in Doué-la-Fontaine
Went to a mushroom museum, sculpture museum, and medieval gardens
Learned how sparkling wine was made in the region from visiting some cellars
My airbnb host this month was really nice. She wrote me a nice note after I left.
Finished a Duolingo section. Maybe 10 years ago I finished French, and now it feels like there's more content or I've just forgotten a whole bunch.
Graded some exams for a little money on the side.
I got really lost and the sun had set when I was out biking one day. I couldn't see. But I made it back.
Meaningful losses:
I haven't been writing
No opportunity creation for myself for networking. It's hard to talk to people. I'm also in the countryside.
My self-connection in LAX didn't work out. I ended up missing my flight by maybe 10 minutes. I paid for a different plane ticket I couldn't afford. Makes me feel almost regretful to stop and help someone at the airport.
Still no job/health insurance/income.
I don't feel like myself in a lot of ways.
I do not have income to feel comfortable replacing
my 9 year old phone
my laptop
a lot of things that are worn out now, but that I'll continue using
It is hard to enjoy things knowing there is little to nothing on the other side of France. No place to get a job and get medical insurance in the US. It's complicated.
What I'm grateful for:
Bicycles and bike lanes
The helpful bicyclist on 2024-10-13 who stopped by the side of the road and asked if I needed any help when I was many km from familiarity
Cool places to visit are in general < €12 (castles, caves, museums)
The rain in Saumur reminds me of the rain patterns in Seattle.
La Loire. It's beautiful enough to make a cartel-tourist business offering visits to the afterlife.
The quietness of the countryside
The efficacy of oatmeal + eggs for sustained energy
Continued gratefulness for grocery prices (while finishing this post in the US, I am even more grateful. I miss it.)
Discovered that I like Bordeaux wines. I probably drank a personal record amount of alcohol this month. Almost 4 bottles in a month, which is a lot for me.
Discovered that I really really like this multi-grain bread sold by Intermarché.
Dominos pizza Thursday deals. A medium was €9 and a large was €11, and you get really good cheeses on it. Shout out to both pizza au quatre fromages and pizza au cinq fromages.
I had a chocolate stuffed beignet while biking home one day.
The french policewoman decided to not fine me or arrest me. I was recording an audio note on my phone while biking on the road. I think she thought I was talking to someone else on the phone. I'm not sure what the legal distinction for grounds of arrest would be between those two actions…
Upon leaving, my host drove me to the train station so I didn't have to do the 1hr walk with all my bags that I had planned.
My friend letting me stay for a while in the US, while I get my passport renewed
Looking ahead:
Paying a lot of money out of pocket for various medical care.
I tried to reach out to dentists by going to their office in person and leaving my number and email. I was discouraged after a couple attempts. No one reached back out to me. I did not press–after all I do not pay taxes to France to feel like I should press.
At time of writing, I haven't returned to the United States, but I don't know what happens after that.
United States Presidential election…I was hoping I would have a new job at the same time VP Harris would. Not sure if she'll win, but I really hope so.
A continued dead job market for software engineers like myself.
I still have yet to truly create an engine (a positive feedback loop) of connection, possibility, and meaning. I do not have the resource of other people. I don't have access to all the necessary raw ingredients in the US I think.
I am and have been homeless for months now. Death does not scare me. Living does.